Have you ever found yourself in the middle of an unwholesome conversation happening in a group of people, and you have no way out? It can happen quickly and in unlikely situations- bible study, coffee/tea amongst friends, old school buddies having a reunion, work places, and dinner’s out. When the experience is you and another friend, it can be considered reminiscing and you can more easily guard and change the direction of the conversation, but what happens when you find yourself in that situation amongst a group of so-called “Christian” leaders.

I found myself in that situation a while back and sat stuck and tormented by the careless words and stories that were being shared. I looked around the room at the others present wondering who was just as uncomfortable as I was, and even worse- who was bought in and being entertained? I knew that present in the room where new believers, non-believers and redeemed believers. What were they thinking and how was the enemy using this careless talk to distract them from what the Spirit had been doing in their lives? I thought of the redeemed believer going home and having to face the spirit of shame and lay their regrets at the feet of Jesus (once again). I’m pretty good to normally get up and leave a conversation when gossip or unwholesome talk begins to strangle a good conversation where I have no control over changing the direction, but in this case, I was stuck. While I continued to be alert and looked for every opportunity to leave, I decided my best choice would be to pray for protection over those in the room, but I also did one more thing- I implanted this situation into my soul so that I could use it as a reminder that I need to be very careful not to make the same mistake. Careless spoken words can lead to tragic consequences.

We read in Matthew 12, that Christ had been under the watchful eye of the pharisee’s and Sadducee’s scrutiny of His earthly ministry. He charges the Pharisee’s and Sadducee’s to examine their hearts and the reasoning behind their words- differentiating the difference between being a “worldly” follower and a Christ seeker. Jesus is telling them that their words are reflections of their heart and that “worldly” persons bring forth and celebrate “worldly” things. Lust and corruptions, dwelling and reigning in the heart, are “worldly” treasure, out of which the person, set apart from God, brings forth bad words and actions to dishonor God and hurt others. In other words, we must strive to keep constant watch over ourselves, that we may speak words agreeable to a Christ like character, always considering whether our words lead or steer away others from Christ.

Ask yourself today, what you would do when you are faced in a difficult situation where the conversation has been turned to destruction- clearly not glorifying to God. Will you get up and leave? If you are stuck (like I was) will you engage and encourage the careless talk or pray for protection for the vulnerable in the room? Possibly, you are someone who needs to repent because the careless talker is you. There is forgiveness for you, come to the cross and ask Jesus to forgive and heal you- to make you an instrument that leads others into righteousness not away from the cross.

Mother’s, maybe this careless talker is your child. Use scripture and biblical instruction to teach them that they will be held accountable for their careless words. Be on guard to not be held captive and engaged by their careless talk.

Wives, could this be your husband? Pray and ask God to prepare their hearts to change. Be bold and do not engage in their conversations. Humbly express to your husband the situation and conviction you feel over the careless talk and how it leads away from the cross.

Mothers, daughters, friends and wives we must guard our hearts and minds (always). Time is short and Christ is coming soon. We are called to prepare and be ready. We have a great responsibility from God- to raise the next generation of God-seeking leaders. If we are unbridled in our hearts, our words will reflect it and the damage can be devastating.
Sister’s, be bold. Be teachers of the Word. Be God-Seekers and Kingdom builders.


“You will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word you have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matt 12:36-37