If you no longer had your husband, would you regret anything about your time together? What would you wish you would have known before he was gone? Pat shares with us, from personal experience, what she wishes she would have known before Bill was gone.
This week in our 5-part series on building a Lifetime of Love let’s learn from her as she shares
#3 Spend Time Together.
Do you remember how excited you were that you had a date Friday or Saturday night with that special guy?
You’d want to look your best and couldn’t wait to spend time together.
Bill was good at saying, “let’s have a date Friday night, just you and me- don’t ask anyone else.”
We had already been married for 25+ years and he was still wanting to spend time with me…just me!
Although, our children were out of the house, we were both working full-time with busy schedules and commitments, and could find ourselves disconnected quickly. We needed what we called, “windshield time” to reconnect with each other. Sometimes the date was a nice dinner, but more often, it was Chick-fil-A and a movie.
We began to notice over the years that when we’d get short and sharp with one another, it was usually because we hadn’t had down time together. When our children were small, meal time was centered around their lives.
We needed to find time to connect together after they went to bed (regular bedtimes are needed for not only your children’s health, but also the health of your marriage). When our kids got to be middle school age and older, after they went to bed, we would take a walk around the block and spend time together (away from the TV) before we went to bed.
Sadly, I’ve seen families torn apart as evening after evening is taken up by kids’ activities, and running here and there not stopping, even for the weekends. It takes extra effort to stay connected as a couple during those years.
After the kids we’re out of the house, I took up golf because Bill loved it, and I wanted to spend some of our free time together. I like to shop, and he would go with me and patiently wait as I made my decision… I could always count on him giving me his honest and tactful opinion. He had a way of starting a conversation with a stranger (usually another bystander waiting for his wife or girlfriend). Once, we were in downtown Charleston when he started a conversation with a man, also waiting, and found out that he was a musician. It happened to be, Mark Bryan the lead guitarist for Hootie And The Blowfish.
I often think of how Bill would ask me to just sit next to him on the sofa while he watched TV…. Oh, I had things to do around the house! I wish now that I had just done it more often and let some other things go.
So, I would encourage you to
➤ take an interest in what your husband is passionate about
➤ have a date night at least 2 -3 times a month
➤ snuggle up next to him on the sofa
➤ take a walk and talk
➤ be willing to do things you might not enjoy that much just to be with him
➤ remember when the kids are all grown up it will be just the two of you and it can be Wonderful.
Cherish every moment like it is the last.
~ Pat Estes
5 Ways to build a Lifetime of Love
1️⃣ Encourage and compliment often (find the post on August 23, 2019)
2️⃣ Don’t fight over the small stuff (find the post on August 30,2019)
3️⃣ Spend time together
4️⃣ Say yes to sex more often
5️⃣ Pray with him
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash